Pro and Con

As a full time musician for Likha (percussion and string), I get to be on stage the whole time. That's a good thing :)

As a full time musician for Likha (percussion and string), I get to be on stage the whole time. That's a tiring thing.

As a full time musician for Likha (percussion and string), I usually get to go to touring gigs. That's a good thing.

As a full time musician for Likha (percussion and string), I have to go to more practices than the dancers. It could be a bad thing, if it weren't for the good company and the wine.

As a full time musician for Likha (percussion and string), I get to put my heart into cool songs like Kuratsa and Salidsid. That's a good thing.

As a full time musician for Likha (percussion and string), I usually find myself up in Canada playing with KP musicians. This led to finding my beautiful wife, which led to our beautiful boy. These are very good things.

Despite the tiringness of it all...it's been and continues to be a good thing.

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tough weekend

it was a tough weekend of three full run throughs. two of 'em were dress rehearsals. it's been awhile and my endurance level isn't what it used to be. on top of that, now that we bring isaac to rehearsals, i have part of my mind wondering if he's ok out there with either Tita Bel or Jill. i don't have to worry about tina cuz she's a pro at this full run through stuff anyway :)

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TopofheadView

TopofheadView
Originally uploaded by rondallanut.

Just testing some new features for Mac bloggers...

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Stuck in the middle.

This past Sunday I had to perform for Likha while Isaac, Tina, and her family spent the day at Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. As they returned, I went downstairs to greet 'em. At the base of the stairs, I see Tina's dad bringing Isaac down the hallway on my right. On my left, I see Tina coming in through the front door.

At that moment I was torn...who do I greet first???

So my initial reaction was to turn right and rush over to greet little Isaac. But as I took that first step, my inner voice and heart said, "go to Tina first". So my first step became a pivot step. I spun around and went to kiss Tina hello. Then together, we went to check on Isaac.

But it does bring up some crazy questions on our own little family dynamic. In the scheme of love, do I love Isaac as I love Tina? I know it's different, but how? Heaven forbid, but what if I came across the dreaded Spider-Man scenario. Suppose little Isaac is stuck in a dangling trolley car while the Green Goblin is threatening to throw Tina off the brigde. It seems silly, but it does speak to the new adjustment in our relationship.

I have given this some thought and my work-in-progress musings are thus:
(**warning**: for you queasy readers, prepare to wallow through some sappiness)

Tina and I chose to love each other unconditionally. It's a lifelong commitment from which sprouts the little miracle Isaac. When Isaac and his future siblings are out of the nest and on their own, there will still be Tina and I. So when it comes down to it, my love for Isaac is part of OUR love for Isaac.

(**endofsap**)

I know that this can't be a cookie-cutter solution because there are all kinds of family units out there: single parents, divorced parents, married parents who just aren't feeling each other anymore, etc.

But it fits for our little part of the world.

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I try to live life with a smile.

Most of the time, I see my glass as being half-full (unless it's a glass of scotch...then it always seems half empty). If the sun is out, you'll probably find me donning a pair of shorts, Islander tsinelas, a button-up, short sleeve shirt, and a cowboy hat. If it's cloudy or raining, you'll probaby find me donning a pair of shorts, Islander tsinelas, a button up, short sleeve shirt, and a cowboy hat. I like to think that the sun shines on me everyday. Tina's commented that my optimism complements her pessimism (which ain't that pessimistic anyway).

But I do have a dark side. My professional life and personal life have trained me to have a more austere form of myself...my alter ego...Professor Cruz.

Maybe you've taken my class and got caught talking while I'm talking or worse, got caught cheating! Then you've met Professor Cruz. He's the one that'll stop lecturing and stare at you with a furrowed scowl...and wait...and glare...and wait...until the whole class is following my gaze to look at you or you realize that you've been caught. Then he'll hold it for a second longer and without saying a word, go back to lecturing. He's the one, who, before he dismisses class, will then call your name out loud and say, "We need to talk."

Sometimes Professor Cruz pops up outside of the classroom too. Maybe you were a musician who really really missed a cue and it throwing the rest of us off. You didn't realize it and kept playing to your heart's content, but you looked up and saw Professor Cruz glaring at you, with that furrowed scowl, eyes glaring "WHAT-ARE-YOU-PLAYING?!?!?"

Lately, Professor Cruz has been popping up elsewhere too. Maybe you tried to wake up Isaac, right after we just got him to go to sleep...and he's still sick...and it would be tough getting him to fall back alseep. Then you met Professor Cruz.

I think it's a passion thing. If we're talking about something that I really really care about, like teaching, or playing music, or my family...then of course I'm gonna be concerned about any missteps.

But, I do recognize that outside the classroom, Professor Cruz sometimes needs to tone down. So if you catch him emerging from the skin of mild-mannered ECruz, then a small smile and a quick "Hey man, simmer down" should do the trick.

Unless your name is Isaac, and you just broke your curfew ;)

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I love my mom, but sometimes...

she just has to "simmer" down. Today she did us a great favor by baby-sitting Isaac while Tina and I went to Likha practice. We brought him to practice the previous two Sundays, but he's recovering from being sick and we thought it best to leave him behind this time (that's another post in itself :) ) Anyway, trying to be helpful, momz dusted our room for us...unbeknownst to her that some little clippings on our dresser were Isaac's first nail clippings. Tina's been saving them to put into his First Year baby book. Well, we only recovered two clippings from the floor, so they'll have to do.

I told her that we know she meant well, but she shouldn't have dusted our room for us.

I know that in the big picture of it all, it was an honest mistake and even well-intentioned. So I can only get minorly irked. In fact, for me it's not even about the nail clippings but more about the privacy and boundary issues than anything else.

Being able to live at home as Tina and I start our little family has been a tremendous help. We are still grateful and appreciative of our parents' generosity. But we do want a pad of our own to call our own. Hopefully soon.

For now, we're gonna have to deal with the drawbacks of not living under our own roof. We'll just chalk this dusting incident under that column.

If anything, it adds a little flavor to the story. One day we can tell Isaac the story of why we were only able to save two of his first nail-clippings. Hmmm....if he even cares about his first nail clipplings :)

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