Tatay ka na!

Isaac is now 19 days old. We haven't weighed him in a week or so, but I'm sure he's pushing 7.5+ lbs right now. Tuesday night was probably our roughest night so far with him. He would fall asleep while nursing, but wake up wimpering and crying once we put him down in his crib. So, we finally succumbed and let him sleep in the bed with us. And it worked for the most part. He did get up again around 4:30 am to feed. He didn't want to be put down though, so Tina let him sleep on her tummy. Last night, he was back to his "old" self, and was able to sleep through most of the night without the whimpering and light sleeping.

As new parents, Tina and I are still trying to understand this little person. We think we're pretty good with the routine aspect of it all. We change diapers when needed (though it's taken a little of trial and error to remember to point his little manhood down all the time...otherwise pee just shoots up through the top of the diaper!), feed him regularly, bathe him when he starts smelling like milk, wash and fold his clothes, change and pamper him...you know the little procedures that just need to be done.

The challenge is understanding and interpreting what the little dude wants.


Like any newborn baby, he seems to have only 4 modes: eat, sleep, cry, and not cry. Three of the four are the easy ones. It's the crying mode that can get tricky to read. As crying is Isaac's strongest communicative attribute, I think I've finally narrowed his crying down to it's distinctive stages: whimpering, crying, and crying hard enough to make himself purple.

People always warn us not to spoil the baby. "Don't carry him too much, or he'll get used to it!"

Tina and I have decided to "spoil" him as necessary. We want to address little man's needs ASAP. At this point, all he knows is whether he's fed, rested, and dry. As he learns about the need for nurturing, we''' answer to that too... so that he knows Mommy and Daddy are there for him.

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Babies grunt.

Our whole life has been rearranged to care for Isaac. We now get our errands done in two hour blocks, making sure that we don't interrupt his feeding schedule. This includes our daily errand of sleeping.

In the past two weeks, his facial features have developed such that Isaac looks more like mom. He is now able to grasp at fingers and hair, using his opposable thumgs. He can also hold his head up for a longer period of time. When people say that time flies as you raise your kid, they weren't kidding.

There are times of uncertainty, as Isaac does things which at first might not seem normal or healthy. One thing that has taken me a while to get used to is his grunting and straining. Because of the immature digestive system, some babies have to strain and push to poo or burp or fart. With all the straining and grunting that he does, I'm always afraid he might get a hernia, let alone lose his voice. It is kindof funny though cuz only babies can get away with loudly straining and grunting in public and culminate it with a great sounding fart. Lucky bastard.

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On training Lolo and Lola and the extended family.

Isaac is the first grandchild in the family. He is also the first great-grandchild in the family. Of course, it's a big, big deal, and everybody is extremely excited. But the newest little member also heralds in a shift in the family dynamics.

My parents were the family pioneers, being the first on both sides to settle here in the US. They started from scratch and without an extended family to rely on, raised my sister and I and even worked on getting their own siblings here. As Tina and I start our own family, my parents are only now learning to relinquish their heads of household roles.

I am eternally grateful for and respectful of all they have done for us. So, it's been a little difficult for me to put them in their place a few times.


My mom's been a NICU (nursery intensive care unit) nurse for over twenty years. She's seen it all when it comes to births, from the good to the bad. Understandably, she wanted to be present for the birth of her first grandchild. She was itching to be in the fray of it all! Tina's mom too. She was a midwife in the Philippines and a retired nurse here.

As thankful as we were to have the support of these two loving matriarch's in the labor room, Tina and I were also very apprehensive of the potential chaos it could cause. You know, the whole too many cooks in the kitchen...too many captains on the boat. So from the get go, Tina and I set the rules: OBSERVERS ONLY UNLESS otherwise needed!

Tina's mom was not able to come down, but I still had to put my mom in check a little bit. When we found out that Tina was gonna go in for a C-Section, my mom went straight to the O.R. nurse, who happened to be a friend of hers, to ask if she could go into the O.R. too. Before the nurse could respond, I gave my mom a stern look and said "NO!" I know she was well-meaning, but she should have asked us first! Anyway, we had great faith in the hospital staff :)

When Tina was recovering and when Isaac was in the incubator, I had to officially declare a day of rest from family and friends. I have a pretty close extended family and when the family gets together, it's like being back in the bukid. Joking and yelling and generally a good time. Think BG of the barrio suite in one of our shows! But sometimes you need some peace and quiet! It was tough, but a few times I had to give the evil eye and shush a few of my aunts.

At one point, my sister called me to let me know that the relatives were talking about how they weren't used to being told what to do and how to act by one of the kids (me)! In the course of processing, they understood where I was coming from, but attributed it cultural difference (old school vs. new school).

At breakfast the other day, I apologized to my parents for the reprimands that I doled out while in the hospital. They told me that they understood, and it was ok. My mom told us that she had been relating (complaining) to her girlfriends about being kept in check by us. They laughed at her and said, "Welcome to the grandparents club!"

It was a good talk. I told 'em that we're glad that we can use them as a resource and know that they have a lot of experience and knowledge to share. We look forward to their advice, but because Tina and I want to do as much of this on our own as possible, only when asked for :)

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And so it begins...

After 6 days at the hospital, Family Cruz is now at home! We are still settling in, so this will be short. Thanks to all those who've been sending well wishes and congrats.

Allow me to introduce Isaac Bayani Cruz!

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A Watched Pot

In 1986, my junior year of high school, an english teacher had us read Samuel Beckett's play, Waiting for Godot. I don't remember particulars such as character names or quotes, but I still remember the gist of the play: waiting sucks, but it's part of life.

We ride the roller coaster of almost parenthood.

Last Thursday, Tina's OB/GYN said that she was beginning to dilate more and was at about 1cm. She told us to not go far, to celebrate our 1st year anniversary at home, and to get ready because Tina could deliver within the week.

We left the Dr.'s office EXCITED and NERVOUS and EAGER and ANXIOUS, the whole swirl of it all! "The baby is coming! The baby is coming!"; and it made sense because Tina had been feeling the Braxton-Hicks contractions (false contractions) since Monday and would have to pause every few steps to deal with pressure and cramping.

That night, I searched for the hospital and Dr. phone numbers, got the baby's hospital bag ready, and prepared all of Tina's toiletries in the event of a late nite or early morning rush! Her overnight bags were set. We got out our timer to time contractions, especially because a few big spasms hit Tina at around 11pm.

Well we eventually fell asleep, only to awake the next morning, still excitedly, nervously, eagerly, and anxiously waiting for the arrival of baby. Slightly disappointed, we resigned ourselves to knowing that by the end of the weekend, we would be proud new parents!

Come Saturday, still no baby...so we resorted to Plan B. Now, many people have suggested to us that walking speeds up the birthing process. Well what better place to walk than at the San Jose Flea Market? The sun was out and I suggested we bring an umbrella: 8 miles of flea market is a lot of walking! We took it easy, pausing when necessary. It was a nice day and we had a good time. Tina bought a car charger for her phone, and I bought a new cowboy hat :)

It's a close game with twenty seconds left in the 4th quarter (or 3rd period for the northerners), but we have to pause for a commerical break.

We walked. and walked. and walked. It's now Wednesday, and my poor wife has probably walked the length of a marathon. We did the flea market; we did the beach; we've walked several malls. Still no birthing.

Gone too are the strong spasms and the measured walking. It's like baby said, "You know what? It's kinda nice in here...I think I'll stay a litttttle bit longer. Mom...Dad? I've changed my mind; go ahead and chill for a bit."

Waiting for baby is like watching water boil. It's time to bring out the big guns now. It's time for plan C. Maybe Tina will tell you that one.

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