ang mga isip ko

Friday, September 19, 2008


What's going on? I haven't checked this site in more than a year. I'm not even sure how to use these embedded blog commands. Ah well.
Here's a test.

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Tiny Bubbles

This is probably my fourth or fifth attempt at this blog. I've been writing and rewriting now for half an hour. It'll take me a few minutes to write a sentence or two, then I delete and start over. How do you post an entry that will do justice to the memory of a long-time friend. So I type and delete and type and delete.

He was fun and funny. He was passionate and thoughtful. He was a fighter and a dancer. He believed in social justice and in helping out those who were headed down the wrong path. And he could get along with all-kinds of people.

I've known him for almost 18 years. Back in the days he was a homeboy from Carson who choreographed UC Berkeley's first modern dance routine in a PCN. His passion for dance took him into that crazy world of Pilipino folk dance where along the way, he had solos, played music, technically directed, taught, you name it.

He almost died several years ago but fought back and lived to continue life to its fullest.

As I sit here and reminisce over almost decades of memories, I've finally realized one thing I can absolutely say about Sam Largo; he left his mark and legacy in not only whatever he did, but more importantly with whomever he met.

From Southern California to the Bay Area to Vancouver, Canada there will be scores of friends thinking about how Sam touched their lives.

As short as this entry is, it's taken about an hour to write. Strings of memories continue to pop in and out of my mind: modern dance tryouts, folk dance rehearsals, travelling to Malta, partying with 40's while listening to 2Pac, small gigs, hanging out backstage, partying in Canada...

Thanks for being part of my life. Rest in peace my friend.

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Monday, August 28, 2006


Wow it's been a long time since I've posted. It's been busy, but thankfully good busy.

Of course, my last post heralded the birth of Isaac's sister Malaya. She is now hitting eight months and is doing great! She can sit up now and is in the beginning stages of crawling. Her current movement of choice is rolling back and forth from tummy to tumm, inching ever so closely to what ever's got her attention at the moment. If we're laying next to her, then she'll use us to kick off and lunge for nearby objects. Malaya is also now eating baby cereal and first stage vegetables. Her personality is starting to come out too...and boy are we in trouble! She's more curious and more of a spaz than Isaac was at that age.

Speaking of the little guy, Isaac is also doing well. He's down to one nap a day and is otherwise a bundle of energy from 7:30am up to 9:00pm. He loves to run and jump and dance (especially to Pandanggo). He always looks forward to playing a few beats on the kulintang, agong or drums. Isaac's blossomed into his terrible twos while we were on tour in Europe. He still has his moments, but he's not trying to test us as much as he was!

Isaac and Malaya have bee great together. Malaya adores Kuya, always laughing when watching him hop and run around his sister. Isaac does fight for some attention, but we've been pretty good about giving him lots of attention. Luckily, he loves his sister and if anything tends to smother her too much sometimes! He's super protective and will get mad when anyone else besides mommy or daddy picks up or holds his sister.

Mommy and daddy are doing fine too thanks. It took some adjusting, but we've got our routine down. When I'm not working, Tina takes care of Malaya and I have Isaac. This was tough in the beginning, cuz we both felt like single parents at times. But the dust settled and we've been able to continue on with other parts of our lives...

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Wednesday, January 18, 2006


Malaya Alyssa Cruz
Originally uploaded by ramblingsofamathmajor.
Hey there, my name is Malaya Alyssa Cruz. I couldn't wait until my due date, so I came out last Friday at 11:29pm, weighing in at 5 lbs. It's been a bit hectic lately, but Daddy has a few pics for ya.

Originally uploaded by ramblingsofamathmajor.
Right now, you won't catch too often with my eyes open cuz...

Originally uploaded by ramblingsofamathmajor.
...I would rather be sleeping!

Originally uploaded by ramblingsofamathmajor.
Here's a pic of me and mommy...I think I look like her and not daddy(whew!)

Originally uploaded by ramblingsofamathmajor.
Isaac: "Isn't my sister cute!"
Malaya: "Awww, Kuya!"

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Thursday, December 08, 2005

Waiting to Exhale...

Tina started preterm labor early Tuesday morning. She woke me up at 2am saying that she was feeling contractions and that her water broke. We called my parents to come over to watch Isaac and we got ready to go to the hospital.

At the hospital, Tina’s hopes of a false alarm were dashed as they confirmed that she was indeed contracting. They admitted her and gave her Terbutalyne to stop the contractions. Because the baby was only 31weeks old, they were afraid that her lungs weren’t developed enough for her to breathe on her own. Over the next 48 hours, they gave Tina to doses of Beta something, a steroid to speed development of the baby’s lungs.

The first dose of “Terb” didn’t stop the contractions, and they wanted to give her a 2nd dose. Unfortunately, a side effect of Terb is an increased heart rate, which if it doesn’t go down, prevents more Terb from being given. We waited for a few minutes, then saw that it was ok to give the second dose.

Still, the Terb wasn’t working, further, Tina’s heart rate was still elevated. They called our OB/GYN and she decided to put Tina on Magnesium Sulfate. That was at about 9am Tuesday morning.

While at Washington Hospital, they swabbed Tina for Fetal Fibrosis something. It came up positive, which according to them meant that probability was high that the baby would come within two weeks.

Most hospitals are equipped to deal with babies 34-36 weeks or older. Washington could handle a 34 weeker, but our baby was only 31 weeks and two days.

Our OB/GYN made the decision to transfer us to a hospital with a Level 3 nursery which could handle 31 week old babies.

So Tina was placed into an ambulance and rushed to a new hospital 35 minutes away.

And here we wait. Tina’s been on “Mag” for 48 hours and they have finally taken her off of it. Luckily, it or something worked. Her contractions have lessened in intensity and are now further apart. Tina feels maybe only one contraction every few hours.

The contractions have stabilized and the baby is doing fine. Mommy is doing great too. I’m always so proud and amazed at how calm and sweet she’s been. The staff at the new hospital have been professional, positive, and reassuring. We are in a good place for preemies.

We’re trying to keep the baby inside for at least a week and hopefully more. Ideal would be to reach 34 weeks. We’ve been here since Tuesday and it looks like we’ll be here for the next few days, with the possibility of staying the next few weeks.

Now we just wait…

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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

12784 days and still counting

I live 35 miles away, parking spot to parking spot, from work. When there's no traffic, my average trip takes 35 minutes, which gives an average of 60 mph. I suppose that makes sense given some of the lights I go through off of the freeway.

In the mornings, I like to listen to KCBS 740. The all-talk radio keeps me up on traffice reports and main current events. In the afternoon, I listen to my ipod or CD's (after listening to KCBS for traffic updates).

Somedays, I prefer driving with the radio off, allowing the din of the wind and the zooming of cars to steer my thoughts. About a week ago, during one of those radio-off days, my musings meandered into thoughts of my upcoming birthday.

I'm not a big b-day celebrating guy. To me, birthday's are just another day. Now, I'm not being sour or indifferent about bdays. Nah, I would even say it's more the opposite. As hokey as it sounds, I'm such an optimistic, free-spirited, young at heart person that I try to celebrate everyday!

Anyway, during this drive, I realized that this year I would be turning 35. At that instant, for the first time in my life, a tingle of anxiety woke up and kick-started my rusted-out, under-used "I'm Getting Old" warning system. I've always said that I LOVE the thirties and that still holds true. But after 35, the next age-milestone is 40. I mean, you might as well skip 36, 37, 38, and 39! Those years just wither and crumble at the looming, domineering age of FORTY YEARS OLD. When I say 40, the color gray comes in mind. When I say 40, I envision graying hairs (which ARE popping up like weeds). When I say 40, I think Buick and Oldsmobile.

During that drive I really started to grasp the magnitude of my age. I wondered what the next five years would hold for me. I even started worrying if I would ever think of myself as "young" again.

Sure you can throw at me the cliches: "Age ain't nothing but a number" or "You're only as old as you feel" or "Yah but you're young at heart" or even "Hey – Glass full! Glass full! You're 40 years young!!". I hear ya and know too that those are all words I WILL live by. I will still strive to be young at heart, and I will still try to smile and laugh more than I smile and laugh now. And yes, the glass will still be half-full.

At 25, I would never have guessed that at 35, I still think of myself as 25. If the derivative of my attitude is 0, then when I'm 45, I should still think of myself as 25!

But still it's a fact. I am getting older.

There were 9 Leap Years from 1970 to 2005. Add to this the 26 regular years and by Friday, I will have lived 12784 days. [If you go strictly by the solar year (1 year = 365.25 days) then I will have lived 12783.75 days].

Time marches on ... 8)

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Monday, September 19, 2005

Oh that old old Palawan

I googled "Paragua" and got this...

An island in the southwest Philippines renamed Palawan in 1905.

cool trivia bit.

After several seasons of Jota Manilena, we have recently reintroduced Jota Paragua into the repertoire. It's been awhile since we performed it; my last vivid memory of the dance was during our wedding, when a group from both Likha and KP danced for Tina and I. As Tina and I sat on the dance floor, I remember vividly thinking, "Man...I wish I could play with those guys!"

Jota Paragua is one of my favorite pieces to play! There's so much room for expression and tweaking that I often lose focus on the dancers and lose myself in the melodies and phrases. By the time I come too...the dancers are already done!

I should relish the time we spend on it though, cuz we have another Jota waiting in the wings!

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